The scene: A small town kitchen, somewhere in mid Kansas, the wind blowing the sunflower fields as though it was a sea of urine. While the sun is rising ever so slowly on the horizon. Now you look into the house and see a boy sitting at the table, while his mother is standing in front of the stove, scambling eggs in a frying pan.
"Yeller!", his mama says. "If I said it million times, stop asking me why I use a pan to cook eggs in!"
"But mama", young little yeller asks, "Why do you have to turn on high, don't you think it would be easier to just have the electric company change the 60 hz cycle on our power lines to.... Oh I 'think' 240 hz. Yeah moma, that would make the eggs cook much faster, and you wouldn't have to ever turn the oven on high again."
"Yeller!", mama cries with a grating sound, "stop all that foolishness, pappy already said that just won't work in our house". She reaches over and takes a drag from her cigarette. Just then an ash falls in the eggs, that now are just about cooked, mama just continues to stir the eggs.
"But why?", asks yeller so foolishly.
We now hear footsteps.
"Oh NO mama!", cries yeller, "it sounds like pappy"
"Where's that idiot son of mine?", shouts pappy
"I'm here pappy." says young Yeller, with a slight tremble in his voice. "Do you know what your idiot son is asking now?" says mama, as she lifts her leg to cut a nice juicy fart. "Don't tell me ma', it can't be nudder one of those I know it all l'ectric ide'ers agiin", "yup!!" says ma, as she pours the eggs onto a paper plate. Just then as ma is reaching into the fridge for some of that new GREEN ketchup, we hear !!!WHACK!!!, mama, doesn't even flinch, as though she's heard that sound a hundred times before. Young little Yeller laying on the floor, looks up at his pappy and says, "Pappy, what was that one for?"
Pappy squats down next to Yeller and say, "boy!, didnt I teach ya' anything by now". Little Yeller with a tear in his eye says, "yes pappy, you taught me how to make up stories at school for answers I don't know, just in case I'm lucky enough to get the answer right and get credit for it"
Pappy squats a little closer to Yeller and pops him in the head. "Pappy, now what was that one for". "Boy!, canchya just fir onece, sit down there at the table and just keep yer trap shut and eat yer vittles". "But pappy it's true, we could write to the 'lectric company and least ask um".
Mama, takes the bottle of GREEN ketchup and pours about half the bottle over the eggs, and says, "just the way he likes it". She brings the plate to the table. Pappy moves around to the other side of the table, and poor little Yeller gets up and sits. He begins to eat the eggs. "mama, you just make the best eggs". Pappy looks at the plate with a mound of GREEN ketchup covering the plate of eggs, reaches over the table and smacks Yeller up side his head again! "pappy, why did I deserve that one?", ask Yeller. Pappy stands up and says, "ya kant be my kin, no one in our family has ever been so darn close to a moron", he looks over at mama, "are ya sure we picked up the right one from the field when yous was givvin birth, or did you pick up that watermellin instead", mama looks at pappy and says, " I just can't remember"
The topic is fans not overclocking!! DAMN IT!
Vagitizer
Scratch and Sniff...
