If you got the keyboard working, not the IR one, but a PS2 one, then you can try the recovery function.
Hold Control-F2 down and press the reset. This will bring up the recovery program. Attach a phone line to the AOLTV and let it dial out and download the update. I've been able to recover from a bad Flash job and a clean HD this way. As a bonus, it even gave me an upgrade on the BIOS and Software by doing this.
If you can't get this working, let me know, I have a dolly image available. Just give me a place to put it, I don't have a place for you to download from.
If your keyboard header is not working, you might want to check the pinouts again.