To whom it may concern,
I have been asked by my client to give you a status report on his mental condition.
After months of analyzing his condition I have come to the conclusion that my client suffers from extreme "glutantobsessionphobia", or in layman’s terms, the fear of not being obsessed with anything.
He apparently lived for a certain web social forum called the “I-Appliance BBS”, he ate, slept and dreamed of this forum, hoping to eventually become “king” of it. He seemed to think that there was some sort of social ladder to climb on the forum, and continued to browse continually, all night and all day for more than 24 hours at times. He didn’t stop reading even when there were no new messages available, he started reading old messages or his own web page just to pass the time.
My client was clearly obsessed with the Internet forum. He would go without sleep for days at a time, falling asleep on top of his keyboard. He ran his credit cards up to the limits and applied for more, using one to pay the other. He had food delivered to his studio apartment because he worried that while he was gone from home he would miss a message posted about him. He explained how a food delivery girl became interested in him and started coming by, but finally gave up on the relationship because he would totally ignore her for his computer terminal. He explained how they had sex once, she was on top facing away from the keyboard, as he sat facing his computer screen and kept browsing the web forum during orgasam.
This is the worse case of Internet obsession I have ever encountered in my 30 year professional career.
In a stroke of luck, my client was cut off from the web forum. It couldn’t have come at a better time, his credit was at it’s limit, and he was about to be evicted from his apartment. Being asked to not return to the forum was enough to break the obsession and let him move on to other Internet obsessions that were less time consuming.
In my opinion, he was lucky he got cut off in time. I have seen cases similar to this in medical journals and they always end up with the subject living homeless in a big city near a library that has Internet access. The obsession continues as the subject creates a ‘normal’ life in his mind, keeping those who are online thinking his life is still going fine until the subject either gets killed by muggers or dies of starvation on the library floor. It is a tragic ending.
My client is safely at home now, his latest obsession is a young woman’s web forum on underwear styles and a web forum for Spice Girl fans, he seems to have a healthy crush on the dark haired one. Both forums are only open from 6 PM to 9 PM each night, leaving time for a real life inbetween. I feel it is better for my client to spread his obsession over several Internet sites, as long as they are healthy, normal obsessions.
The reason for this letter is to let you know that he will never be able to post to this forum again, it is too dangerous, doing so would start the complete and total obsession all over again and I would like to prevent that. The suggestion to my client was to stay away from this forum and never return, I ask for your cooperation in this matter, thank you.