Ahh, but he didn't die............
You all ran away and left him bleeding in the dust. Damn chickens, you should have finished the job... ah but, you were young and inexperienced. However, although we applaud your decisive action, you see we are still left with your mentally crippled friend.
Dazed and confused, he wandered away and was never seen again. Ergo, presumed dead and gone. However, God does indeed watch over drunks and fools. He was later rescued from the streets, where he'd been living a tortured, though some say he actually enjoyed it, life as a male prostitute. Rescued and finally adopted by a family of means, he was tutored by the finest private schools money could buy.
Having finally graduated HS at the tender age of 24, he then went on to sack his adopted parents retirement fund while they vacationed in Europe. After untold minutes of research in Walden Books, he made a bold decision.
He bought a sure winner called Netplaince, and sat back waiting for the cash to roll in.
Well, know you know,,,,,, the rest of the story.
And that poor 40 watt bulb of a sub-genious was none other than...... Shadow!
Psst..Shadow, when's Mom and Dad coming home?